10 Days

10 days to go before I leave my house behind and venture out into an unknown lifestyle. I have been doing a far bit of personal discovery and reflection lately, as well as a lot of procrastination when it come to sorting my stuff. A few times I have had doubt in what I am doing. I even contemplated giving up being a Cub Scout Leader to make it easier. I don t know why I was thinking that because I extremely enjoy it but I guess its the time that it consumes and the fact that at times it feels like an uphill battle. As I was digging through my junk I ironically found something that I had adapted from a poem which originally help inspired me to help others through the Scouting Movement:
“Its not for the easy hours, high pay, parents gratitude, power or prestige, because if so I would sadly be disappointed. Its because I want a better world for our children – a better future for all.
A world they can share and help shape, A world of live and laughter, unconditional acceptance, free from social expectations, where they have the chance to be themselves. A world where a child has the freedom to experience life as it should be for a child.
I want them to look at all the small things in life which are taken for granted – the stars, a sunset, a small sapling, a smile and feel its beauty inside themselves. I want to help them learn to finish what they start and feel pride in that, and to guide them to know their worth with a deeper understanding of themselves to show them that giving is always far greater then receiving.
I want to help shape adults who have strength of character and are sensitive and compassionate to others. I want them to be the best they can be – because they are allowed to be.
I'm giving of myself and time and I reap rewards far beyond what I give because my wage consists of smiles and laughter, the honour of observing a child's growing self confidence and the look of personal triumph on the face of a child who has achieved more than they thought they ever could.
This is why I do it!”
I guess its for the small things in life which are the real rewards however they tend to be overshadowed by a selfish desire for more conventional rewards. But as it says in the extract I will be sadly disappointed because things of this nature are not worth pursuing. Reading the things in the extract it helps point that out and help re-guide me. I need to put those negative thoughts and doubts out of mind.